why did you make this website? what are you going to do with it?
i started making this website out of boredom and a vague desire to be productive in a very tedious way. do i have other things that i should be doing right now? yeah. but i wanted to pour my brain energy into doing something unproductively productive. plus, this is way more fun.
as i write this, i have a few things planned for different pages that i want to build. itll take a while, and ill probably have to go back and redo things over and over again. but im happy with the way its turned out so far. i hope that you do, too :)
who even are you?
as youve probably already read from the homepage of this website (and the left sidebar), im Aliza! when im not torturing myself with some mundane grounding task, im probably outside touching trees and looking for bugs and creatures. i very much consider myself to be a creature as well.
gender go brr?
ive been in a weird place about my gender for a long time. its taken a long time to figure myself out, but i dont think ill ever truly be in one place forever. i discovered the transmasc and nonbinary labels a few years ago and took on the latter before the former. sometimes i still feel like im not "allowed" to identify with either of them, as long as i still present mostly feminine and still use she/her pronouns sometimes. but as time went on, i realized that that's a really stupid and arbitrary rule to place on myself (to which i have never held others), and i can be whatever i want, whatever feels right, whenever.
its been a lot harder to come out to people irl, to ask them to use different pronouns for me, to acknowledge my queerness and transness and largely undefinable, ever-changing identity. if asked, i dont hide. but its hard to be the one to initiate those conversations, even if its something that i want. maybe that kind of thing comes with time, or maybe it never really gets easier. im not sure yet.
its been a lot harder to come out to people irl, to ask them to use different pronouns for me, to acknowledge my queerness and transness and largely undefinable, ever-changing identity. if asked, i dont hide. but its hard to be the one to initiate those conversations, even if its something that i want. maybe that kind of thing comes with time, or maybe it never really gets easier. im not sure yet.
